When wife cheats

Experts like Nelson agree the only reason to stay with a cheating spouse is if he or she is deeply and genuinely sorry for the betrayal and willing to work for your forgiveness. This means they show they understand the pain you went through after learning about the affair, Dr. Why stay with a cheating spouse? Paul Hokemeyer , a licensed marriage and couples therapist, told Fox News that couples who stay together after infidelity have compelling reasons to do so.

When a cheating spouse admits to being unfaithful, realizes the pain they've caused you, and is willing to prove their commitment to the relationship every day, it is possible for a couple to heal and move past infidelity. The relationship will, no doubt, feel different.

When your wife cheats on You | Brian and Anne Bercht

It can find a new equilibrium, but it will never go back to the way it was before the cheating occurred. Just refuse to play my part in that ridiculous drama. When I finally did, it was liberating. Part of the reason why I was the other woman for so long is because I had very low self-esteem.

Wife cheats

I knew I wanted someone to commit to me, someone who was invested in a relationship with me and made me a priority, not someone I had to share with another woman. Polyamory is so not my thing. Yet, I shared. It felt good to have his attention.

How Do Most Men Respond to Infidelity in Marriage?

In a twisted way, it makes you feel as if he likes you more than her. You matter more. The spell began to break for me when I realized that, if he liked me so much, he should get on with it and break up with her already. If I was as special as he insisted I was, he would have done it. I also realized that, if he lied to her, he would lie to me too. Even if he did break up with her for me, he would only move on from cheating on her to cheating on me.

That was when I realized I should go after what I wanted. Therefore, I should look for someone who shared my values and not settle for less.


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As for his girlfriend, she eventually broke up with him. I interpreted that as her setting her own worth as well. She was looking for someone she could be exclusive with, not someone who lied to her about being faithful.

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9 Things to Do If Your Wife is Cheating

Good for her. I would had dreams about it.

You Probably Want to Walk. Stop. Give It Time.

I would jump while walking on the street whenever I saw someone who looked like his girlfriend. My face would go red hot in those circumstances. Back then, a lot of women I saw on the street looked just like her. It was a double guilt of having helped cause another woman pain, and of having caused myself pain as I lost so much time in a relationship that was clearly going nowhere.

Every time I think about that relationship, I still feel it.

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I have learned to forgive myself and live with it, but sometimes, I do still feel it. What hurts the most about cheating are the lies and the broken promises. Cheating, in a nutshell, is liying. Be honest with your partner.

How to repair your relationship after someone cheats

Keep in mind that trust, once broken, is hard to rebuild. So start out the right way, with honesty.


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With your partner and with yourself. Sign in. Get started. But also, it kind of was. Tesia Blake Follow.